December Fifth

Five years ago, my best friend was living in South Carolina. I don't know if it was because he was missing me, or if he just knew that I was missing him, or both, but he called my cell phone and left a voicemail, singing "I'll Be Home for Christmas." My mother and sister took it as a sure sign that he was totally in love with me. I told them no, we were just friends, but I think even then I was already falling. His voice on that message made my heart beat a little faster, and I think somewhere in the back of my mind I may have already known...

Four years ago, I was finishing up my first semester at Texas A&M, and although I was ready for my classes to be over, more than anything I just wanted to get home to see my boyfriend. My best friend. The guy who sang "I'll Be Home for Christmas" to my voicemail the year before. The guy who made an "I'd never date long distance" girl dive head first into a long-distance relationship. I just couldn't help but love him...

Three years ago, I was so sick of the long distance thing that I didn't know if I could do it anymore. I was counting down each day until I could have a relationship built on something more than a phone call every night and a weekend every six to eight weeks. I had promised him a forever kind of love, but I honestly thought I couldn't make myself do it any longer... it was like I was suffocating in a cloud of too-short phone calls, sorority formals without the date I actually wanted, and separate lives in separate places... but then he came home, and I saw his face, and all the sudden I could breathe again. I think Christmas saved us that year...

Two years ago, I took the LSAT and came home to find the love of my life in my apartment, waiting for me with flowers and a diamond ring. I hadn't showered in two days and I was wearing old jeans and a sorority fleece. He was all dressed up in corduroys and a button down and a maroon sweater. I'd remember the details even if I didn't have the pictures. I sat on the corner of my bed and looked straight into his eyes, he knelt, he asked, and I said of course. The "someday" we always talked about had finally arrived...

One year ago, I was going through hell getting ready for my first round of law school finals. I was an emotional wreck. I thought I was going to fail all of my classes. I thought I might have made a horrible mistake by going to law school at all. He told me he believed in me. He cooked dinner and did all the laundry for two weeks straight. He held me when I cried. And when I cried again. And again. I finished that semester in the top 5% of my class...

Today, on December 5th, 2011, I'm madly in love with that boy who sang "I'll Be Home for Christmas" to my voicemail. I thank God every day that he's here with me, that the long-distance days are over, and that no one has to "come home for Christmas" anymore. I'm wearing that ring on my finger, and when I look at it I remember that I'm actually living in the amazing "someday" we always talked about. Although I'm once again studying for finals, this time I know I won't fail them, that it wasn't all a horrible mistake, and that I have a husband who will get me through it.

Ah, December 5th. You'll always hold a special place in my heart.